There are so many articles around right now about festival ‘essentials’, but who seriously thinks that a £65 eye cream is an essential tool when you’re stuck in the middle of a noisy field for four days?
Glastonbury – courtesy of Tom Hackforth on Pinterest
Here are ten things you will genuinely need to bring with you, based on mine and my friends’ experiences of mayhem under canvas:
1) Sensible footwear – keep your flip flops for the shower cubicles (unless you really love the feeling of soggy mud between your toes) and for pity’s sake leave the stilettos at home.
2) Spare pairs of socks to accompany the above. Keep some sealed in a plastic bag in case your tent leaks. Trenchfoot should not be part of your festival experience.
3) A good supply of snacks. The quality of festival food has definitely improved in the past few years, but the prices have also gone up exponentially, so save your beer money and stock up at the supermarket before you arrive. I also find jaffa cakes and a strong cuppa to be an excellent hangover cure.
4) Ear plugs – very useful whether you’re hugging the speakers at the front of the stage or desperately trying to drown out the bongo ensemble practicing in the tent next door at 4am.
5) Duct tape – a life saver. It can fix anything from a hole in your boots to a rip in your tent.
Mud! Courtesy of Nina on Pinterest
6) Warm & waterproof coat – a parka or similar will do. Something that will keep out the elements and that has lots of handy pockets for your jaffa cakes and hip flask.
7) Loo roll & baby wipes – I hope I don’t need to go into more detail here.
8) Dry shampoo – one of the few cosmetic products recommended for festivals that is actually any good. Batiste’s cherry scented one is my current favourite – spray it on everywhere, give your hair a quick brush and you’re good to go. Also works for smelly wellies.
9) Small bag or (if irony holds no fear) bum bag – ideally you want something you can fit your valuables in without restricting your ability to jump about and wave your arms like a loon in the mosh pit. Whatever you do, make sure it zips or fastens up securely to avoid the horror of a portaloo-based incident.
10) A sense of tolerance and goodwill – this one might be the most difficult to obtain, but if you’re going to spend an entire weekend exposed to the elements, surrounded by crowds of drunk, noisy idiots, you’re really going to need it.
Glastobury, courtesy of Pascha Lindley on Pinterest
And here are a few things you definitely won’t need:
Hot pants – to be avoided unless you are a teenage girl.
Onesies – they look silly on anyone who isn’t a toddler and are not compatible with tiny, dark portaloos.
Large bag of make-up and cosmetic bits – essentially dead weight as you will use virtually none of it.
Expensive electronic equipment (laptops, iPads etc.) – very likely to get broken or stolen. Wi-fi signal will be negligible anyway, so just enjoy being off the grid for a bit.
What are your festival essentials? Comment below or get in touch on Facebook or Twitter.
